so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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