I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
