My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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