real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
