i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
