I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
