Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
