My balls are so social today.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
