If that was your dad, he is hot
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
