was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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