so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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