A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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