Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
