no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize