do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
