shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
