i would punch a child for taco bell
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
not ubering you a puppy
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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