you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Panties = found
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
