the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
