I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize