Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
