Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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