we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
