I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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