But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
drinking out of a sandbucket again
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
