We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize