hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize