I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
