You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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