i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
