what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
