i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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