Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
