On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
