Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
