He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
