Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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