It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
