remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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