By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
How's work?
Spinning.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
