please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
