I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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