So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
