Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
