maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
