I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
