my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
