no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
