id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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