I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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