laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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