my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
