I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Text me some of your sweat
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
