Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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