What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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