Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
babies were throwing up all over the place
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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