ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
