i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
