he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
false alarm. still invincible.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
