Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
