I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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