You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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