What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
