It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
