It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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